Welcome to the Wasteland Refuge: Now Servin' Fiddy Thousand

Epicness Sauce
That's right ladies and gents, the blog has officially hit the 50,000 unique views mark. And I thought I'd take the time to send out a Thank You to all the people who made this possible. First and foremost, to all the fans and viewers out there who.....actually read what I write on a regular basis, Thank you! It's odd that people actually want to hear me rant and rave and write on a regular basis when I started up here back on July 4th 2011. It almost makes me want to reconsider my wanting to finish culinary school and just write a book or something.

I'd also like to thank the man who actually allowed me to even have a place to write in the first place, that being Munki. I pick at him mercilessly, I know. But there's an old saying in my family; If we ain't pickin' on ya that means we don't like ya. So, thank you Munk.

And finally I'd like to thank myself in a John Lithgow egotistical moment. My natural talent and affinity with the written word is the envy of the entire internet. Without me it would be both boring and culturally dead. I shine light in an otherwise dark and dismal place (punctuated by John Lithgow smirk/sneer).



Also, to celebrate the 50k Awesome Sauce Epicness, or as I like to call it, "50k Sauce-some-ness",  I'm combining this post with another. Like a modern day Frankenstein, I shall cobble together both to form one monster! Behold!

Famous Game Quotes:

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
Man, this is like trying to find a bride in a brothel. - Victor Sullivan

You just count to five and pull the cord....Easy, right? [jumps] AHHHHHH! Onetwothreefourfive! - Nathan Drake

Strangers trying to kill me. Left my map on a burning plane. Elena's missing, most likely dead. That's great. Great start Nate!! - Nathan Drake (to himself)

Eddie Raja: Tell you what - lead me to the gold, and I just might let you live.
Nathan Drake: Is that it? Is that my deal? Die now, or help you, and die later. It's a tough call, but you know what? I'll take "die now."

Bulletstorm
Grayson Hunt: Hey, You wanna make out? Just two gruff military hardened dudes sitting in an elevator snuggling out their woes in a totally hetero way?
Ishi: Ha!
Hunt: That's a nervous chuckle. Either your human side gets the joke or your computer side likes the way I look in these pants.
Ishi: Or a little of both perhaps.
Hunt: Hey. I'm not judgin'. I'm just a good lookin' man!

Hunt: You should see yourself when you do that, you look like a damn goof.
Ishi: I got the door open didn't I?
Hunt: Yeah.......well you got the door open lookin' like a damn goof.

Trishka: I will kill your dicks!!!!
Hunt: What? What the f**k does that even mean?!

Portal
When I said "deadly neurotoxin," the "deadly" was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes... honestly, it's not deadly at all... to me. You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness...a lot less funny. - GLaDOS

Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise. I've never seen it before! Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later... by myself, because you'll be dead. - GLaDOS

Portal 2
Oh, Hi. So How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO! (claps slowly three times). Oh, good. My slow-clap processor made it into this thing......so we have that. Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere....well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts. He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility. (clap.....clap)...Good, that's still working. Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long-fall boots of yours and shove me into it? Just remember to land on one foot. -GLaDOS

Cave Johnson: All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade!
GLaDOS: Yeah!
Johnson: Make life take the lemons back!
GLaDOS: Yeah!
Johnson: Get Mad!
GLaDOS: Yeah!!
Johnson: I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
GLaDOS: Yeah, take the lemons!
Johnson: Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!
GLaDOS: Oh, I like this guy.

Ooh. It's dark down here, isn't it? They say that the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff - of robots - all of them robots! They say at night you can still here the screams - of their replicas. All of them functionally indistinguishable from the originals... No memory of the incident... Nobody knows what they're screaming about. Ab-solutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way. - Wheatley

You look ugly in that jumpsuit. That's not my opinion; it's right here on your fact sheet. They said on everyone else it looked fine, but on you, it looked hideous. But still what does an old engineer know about fashion? Oh, wait, it's a she. Still, what does she know about - oh, wait. She has a medical degree. In fashion. From France. - GLaDOS

Duke Nukem 3D
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum. - Duke Nukem

Oregon Trail
You have died of Dysentery

Grim Fandango
I'm the grim reaper, lardass, and you're my next customer. - Manny Calavera

Glottis: There was a high-pitched whining noise. Kinda grating, you know? I couldn't nail it down. It only stopped when I pulled up here.
Velasco: What was it? The blower?
Glottis: Nah. It was Manny, screaming like a cat tied to a cruise missile.

Star Fox 64
Do a barrel roll! - Peppy

Halo 2
When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy-shmancy tanks, we had sticks... two sticks and a rock for a whole platoon. And we had to share the rock! Buck up, boy! You're one very lucky Marine! - Sgt. Johnson

The Darkness
I got my first kiss down here. I was fifteen. Some hooker named Candy. She crossed her legs, broke my sunglasses. Good times. - Jackie Estacado

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
They say that there is no medicine that can cure a fool... I guess that's true. - Lake Hylia Medicine Man

Mass Effect
Mira: It looks like you are trying to restore this facility. Would you like some help?
Commander Shepard: Oh crap, a pop-up. (one of his/her response choices)

Wrex:......Shepard
Shepard: ........Wrex.

Mass Effect 2
Illusive Man: Shepard.......you're making a habit of costing me more than time and money.
Shepard: I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you - I'm getting a lot of bullsh*t on this line.

Garrus: Do you ever miss those talks we had on the elevators?
Tali: No.
Garrus: Come on. Remember how we'd always ask you about life on the flotilla? It was an opportunity to share!
Tali: This conversation is over.
Garrus: Tell me again about your immune system.
Tali: I have a shotgun...
Garrus: Mmmmaybe we'll talk later.

Another dangerous alien aboard, Commander. Thanks. Why can't you collect coins or commemorative plates or something? - Jeff "Joker" Moreau

I can already hear it... "This is all Joker's fault! What a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord!" - Joker

Joker: Argh! You want me to go crawling through the ducts again.
EDI: I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.
Joker: .......(worried look).
EDI: That is a joke.
Joker: Right.....

Why is it always claws and guns? Why can't we go to war with a fuzzy planet? Still dangerous but fuzzy. - Joker

Miranda Lawson: This radiation is causing serious problems for my shields.
Grunt: Then we fight in the shade.........but no hiding.

EDI: Clan Urdnot has increased in strength after the destruction of Clan Weyrlock. In addition killing the thresher maw has produced several breeding requests for Grunt, and one for Shepard.
Grunt: HAH!

I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it? - Shepard (when asked to relinquish his/her weapons)

EDI: Really Commander?! (when launching a probe at Uranus)
EDI: ......probing Uranus (If you do it again)

Shepard: I'm sorry, I know that was important, but *you* performed Gilbert and Sullivan?
Professor Mordin Solus (singing): I am the very model of a scientist salarian - I've studied species Turian, Asari and Batarian - I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology - because I am an expert which I know is atautology! My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian - I am the very model of a scientist salariaaaaaaaaaaan! (long pause) Ahem.

Resident Evil
Jill, here is a lockpick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you. - Barry

You were almost a Jill sandwich - Barry

It's a weapon, its real powerful, especially against living things - Barry

It looks like he was killed by a CROW or something... - Barry

The Secret of Monkey Island
Guybrush: If I gave you your arm back, what would you do with it?
Murray: I’d terrorize the South Seas! I’d torture the living! I’d demolish the... er... What I meant to say was, I’d use it to pet kittens.
Guybrush: Nope. You blew it.
Murray: Drat.

Deus Ex (2000)
Walton Simons: You take another step forward and here I am again, like your own reflection in a hall of mirrors.
JC Denton: That makes me one ugly son of a bitch.

Halo 3
Tank beats Everything! - Random Marine riding on a Tank

Catherine
F***in' blocks! I'm gonna climb the sh*t outta you! - Vincent

Seriously, what kinda man dreams of taking a sh*t with another guy?! - Orlando

Left 4 Dead
Watch my back...but don't stare at my ass - Francis

Church Crazy: Who's THERE?
Francis: Let's see, I'm Francis, and that's grandpa Bill andTHERE'S ZOMBIES OUT HERE, OPEN GOD***N DOOR!

Wow, this is just like Counter-Strike! - Louis

Speak up Francis. Your voice is all muffled from your head being so damn far up your ass! - Bill

Left 4 Dead 2
My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows, but the police were too busy teargassin' him to ask what he was doin' up there. He screamed for an entire year every single time he opened his eyes! Oh, man! At first, it was funny; then it just got sad, but then it got funny again! Oh, man! - Ellis

Come on, Coach. Maybe the helicopter...maybe it's made of chocolate. - Nick

QUIT. SHOCKING. ME. WILL YA? - Nick

Man, this is about to get all Baghdad and sh*t. - Coach

In case you all didn't see it, I got a TANK ON ME! - Coach

*looking down at Coach's dead body* Do you think Coach was his first or second name? - Rochelle

We are kickin' more ass than a boot in an ass factory! - Ellis

Gears of War 2
Don't worry, I'm right behind you. - Marcus Fenix (when occasionally using an enemy as a "meatshield")

I'm coughing up blood that ain't even mine! - Damon Baird

Assassin's Creed
Talk to me or talk to god - Altair

Baldur's Gate
You are amusing in that what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you kind of way. - Jaheria

Metal Gear
I Feel Asleep - Solid Snake

Resident Evil 4
I'm sure you boys didn't just tag along so we could sing Kumbiyah together at some Boy Scouts bonfire. Then again, maybe you did. - Leon S. Kennedy

Zero Wing
Captain: What happen?
Mechanic: Someone set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get signal.
Captain: What?
Operator: Main screen turn on.
CATS: How are you gentlemen. All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say!
CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
Operator: Captain!!*
Captain: Take off every 'Zig'!!
Captain: You know what you doing.
Captain: Move 'Zig'.
Captain: For great justice!!

Ratchet and Clank Future
I am SO taking him off my top 8  - Captain Qwark

Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
Sam Fisher: C'mon, just give me the key code to the door.
Terrorist: No! Don't KILL ME! I LOVE America! Chocolate Ice Cream! Hot Dogs!!! Mmm!
Sam Fisher: I don't care, just give me the---
Terrorist: "Born to be wild! Born to be free! Born in the US AND A!!!
Sam Fisher: Ah, forget it. *knocks out terrorist*

Tales of Symphonia
Lloyd: What were you like as a kid?
Zelos: I was both handsome and smart. A prodigy.
Lloyd: Prod easy? You were easily prodded?
Zelos: ...The fact that you're serious is what makes you scary.
Lloyd: Hey, don't make fun of me.

Tales of Vesperia
Estelle: Courage!
Judith: Modesty!
Raven: SEXUALITYYY!
Rita: Oh give it up!

Starcraft
*static*....That's....One small step for a man, one giant- *static* (Orc Grunt) STOP POKING MEEEE!..." Observer

Thank you guys for helping this place get to 50,000. Here's to 50,000 more.

Marcus/Wastelander75